Pumpkins scream in the dead of night

Happy Halloween.

Am just getting ready to go clubbing in an inflatable pumpkin costume.

As you do.

Today I have eaten:

chewee cereal bar 91cals

1/2 revolting bean salad thing 75cals

weight watchers mini cupcake 87cals

Ready salted French fries 83cals

so that's 336cals today which perhaps mildly redeems me for yesterday.

Gonna try stay around the 300 mark again tomorrow.

Still haven't done any work, not sure what I'm gonna do about that.

Bloody uni. They just expect you to know how to do these impossible assignments.

Aaaaaaahhh!

Oh well, gonna get drunk, bet I don't go in tomorrow morning.

Whatevs.

Unconditional, unoriginal, always by my side.

So today my boyfriend took me out for our 6 month anniversary.

I had two rice cakes for brekky when I woke up and then he took me to London Dungeons which was a good laugh as I haven't been since I was about nine years old and then we went for dinner in Covent Garden and sat on the piazza smoking and drinking wine which was sooooooo lovely.

I had a slice of some cheese tart thing and like half a pizza.

Seeing him really cheered me up altho I do feel rather lardy after eating the cheesiest pizza known to man.

I'm going to stick to 300cals for the next two days in order to repent.

And not weigh myself until Tuesday morning.

He couldn't stay over because he has work tomorrow and I have two essays due next week that I haven't even started, so when I got in I finished reading my book and absolutely cried BUCKETS over it. I always cry at books which is silly of me.

I'm so pathetic.

Anyway, I'm off to bed to get some sleepysleep.

I hope I've not put on too much weight after my gastronomic dinner.

love to you all xxx

fuck everrything

Dropped my phone down the toilet.

It doesn't work now surprise surprise.

I feel so out of touch without it.

I'm such a cunt.

Got in and ate.

Only cucumber and houmus but still.

My boyfriend is probs gonna take me out for a meal tomorrow (that's if I can ever find him without my phone) so I can't really afford that kind of slip up.

I'm such a whale anyway.

I hate myself.

I will never be thin.

I feel awful.

London, did you have to take my child away?

Hello,

So I've bought some scales.

And I weigh 51.3kg

hmmmph. >:(

Today I have eaten:

2 clementines 48cals

packet of salt and vinegar french fries 84cals

and I have some cheese and leek bake thingy in the oven which is 362cals

So in total that's 494 cals for the day.

I'm going to some club in London with my friend tonight but I'm going to try not to get too hammered as I'm going out on some romantic day out with my boyfriend tomorrow and I have to meet him at Baker Street at 3.

I hate being so fat.

xxx

I'm spinning.

Oh dear.

Not much food + lots of vodka = kjfksfhAHAHAHA oh my boobs fallen out.

etc.

Eventually I passed out on my friend's bed in her flat and then she fell asleep on top of me and the boys came in and decided to cover us in cocoa butter.

It all went in my hair and I got really pissed off and came downstairs and sliced myself to pieces over it.

Which in hindsight was highly fucking stupid because actually it was quite funny.

And now they're all going to think I'm a humourless uptight bitch and hate me.

And altho I'm very much in love with my boyfriend I'm not gonna lie and say I don't quite fancy one of them.

Bollocks.

Anyway.

Today I have eaten a packet of cheese and onion french fries at 84 cals so far and my mummy is coming up for the eve so we're probably going to eat at whetherspoons where I will have Veggie sausages and mach and peas and gravy which is SO NICE and acording to the website has 553cals. So if I don't eat until then that's 637cals today which is not too bad.

And I'm not going to buy scales because I'm FAR too hungover, but I will deffo go after my lectures tomorrow.

ergh my head.

I hate myself.

goodbye xxx

Sympathy for the devil

Hihihi.

Me and 2 of my flatmates have just finished decorating the flat for Halloween, there's fake cobwebs and cardboard ghosts EVERYWHERE, plus I have a cute little cardboard devil on the door to my room.

There was so much cobweb left over we decided to stretch a load of it across the front of one of our flatmates doors so she couldn't get out and text her telling her to come to the kitchen. She screamed so loudly it was hilarious! EVERYONE SHOULD TRY THIS.

Today I have eaten:

Yoghurt 52cals

Cucumber and houmus 83cals

3 bean chilli w/rice 362cals

so that's 497cals which is fine as a pine on the line.

And it's 7.14pm now so I shouldn't really eat anymore until tomorrow.

Went to Asda today with my friend from a few floors above me and bought loads of low cal nibbly things and ready meals and stuff, which makes calorie counting heaps easier. Altho carrying all the bags back home on the bus was a NIGHTMARE! My friend fell over! Anyway, I'm off to start having a shower and getting ready for fetish night. I'm wearing a La Senza corset, a pencil skirt and pointed toe stilettos, I wish I could borrow my mum's steel plated corset tho, I wore it at my 18th Birthday party and it made my waist look amazing, not being able to borrow my mum's clothes is one of the many downsides of not living at home, like having to carry my own shopping and do my own washing.

Anyway, speaking of corsets:

obvz her waist is being very much held in but look at her legs!!!

Ooooh and a big thankyou to follower number 6 (:

I'm off to go get drunk.

Bye bye xxx

Magpie, was it you who stole the wedding ring?

Aloha,

Soooo, yesterday my boyfriend came over after I posted, and we ended up sitting in the kitchen chatting to some of my flatmates for ages and they were all munching on crackers and peanut butter and crumpets and cheese, so eventually I caved and had some cucumber and houmus, which brought my total for yesterday up to 518cals. Which I can just about live with I think.

This morning on the way to my lectures at 8.30am (while my boyfriend was still tucked up in my bed fast asleep, grrrr) I saw 2 magpies. Well actually I saw one, which I saluted (naturally) and then I saw another one further along the road which I again saluted (you can never be too careful with these things) when another one popped up next to it. So I'm not sure whether I saw one for sorrow and then two for joy, which would cancel each other out I suppose, or three for a girl?

Or perhaps I'm just being a superstitious maniac.

Anyway, in my lecture we had to watch a ridiculous film about some nuns on a mountain in India (I study film and history combined) followed by a boring seminar about lighting in which I said far too much and got paranoid that everyone hated me because no one speaks to me in that class and had to hide under my coat and then I came home and crawled back into bed for a few hours before Japanese in which I had no idea what was going on and made awkward conversation with a boy from my building.

Today I have eaten:

Sugar puffs and milk 210cals

Dairylea dunkers 111cals

2 veggie sausages 202cals

6 slices of leek 24cals

5 small boiled potatoes 108cals

so that totals at 655cals which doesn't sound bad but I just felt so revoltingly full after dinner that I had to go to my room and throw it all up again, but I still somehow don't feel I've done well enough.

Tomorrow I plan to do that whole 6 meals between 50 and 100cals thing I used to do and then I'm going out to the fetish themed night at one of the student clubs so I'll stick to vodka and diet cokes. I'm guzzling so much diet coke atm. I drank about 2 litres of it yesterday.

Not knowing what I weigh is bugging me hugely so I'll probably go into town on Thursday to get some scales and my halloween costume.

That's all I guess.

oh except thankyou to my new followers!

Makes me feel a bit less like I'm posting to thin air!

I might keep some of my posts brief one day...

xxxx

No sleep and witches.

So for some reason which I am not entirely sure of I decided to stay up all night catching up with the X factor and the Apprentice and doing those funny Japanese hula exercises I mentioned ages ago.

I made a half hearted attempt to go to sleep at 5 but failed miserably and crawled back out of bed at 7 to make my 9 O'clock lecture, only when I got there there was nobody there. I stood around being confused and half dead with tiredness for a while before I remembered that it actually starts at 10 O'clock, rather than 9. So then I traipsed off to the library figuring I could do some of the reading I was meant to have done for my seminar in that time. It was about witches in the 17th century and really rather interesting in an I'd rather be reading Jilly Cooper kind of way. But when I did get to my lecture it became apparent that that was in fact the reading for last weeks lecture & seminar (which I missed). Thankfully the real reading was only some simple figures which were put up on the projector anyway but I also discovered that in my absence last week we have been set a 1,500 word assessment which is due next Thursday. And I absolutely hate university because they never give you any help with anything and it does make me wonder what the hell I am actually paying for. A part from the privilege of not having to get a job and live in the real world for another 3 years.

So all in all a pretty crappy start to the day, after that I went to Premier to buy some milk and things and then went to bed for pretty much the rest of the day. Gosh that was ever so boring. Why did I think anyone would care about that?

Anyway, today I have eaten:

2 crumpets with butter and marmite 264cals

Tomato soup 171cals

so that's 435 cals

I've also had endless glasses of diet coke but they're practically calorie-less

I am aiming to leave it at that but if I get desperate I might have some cucumber or something as it is still early days.

My weight is still, irritatingly, a mystery for now.

I actually might buy some new scales for here if I have time on Thursday or at the weekend. (Thursday is my day off) Although I'm not sure where the nearest Argos is.

Ho Hum pigs bum.

Sorry that was achingly dull.

Byeee xoxox

Many years have passed...

Hello I'm alive.

I'm on a brand new shiny diet and this time I mean business.

Last time I lost heaps of weight but then I carelessly went and fell in love.

And my boyfriend genuinely seemed to think I was amazing the way I was, and I ended up believing him and being huge by the time I went to Zante, and although when the pictures came back I felt rather sick it has taken until now for me to come to terms with the fact that things are getting out of hand and that if I continue this way my boyfriend won't love me for very much longer. So I'm sat in my little room at university starkers listening to 4st 7lb and drinking absinthe and 'I wanna be so skinny that I rot from view'.

I have absolutely no idea what I weigh right now because I've left my scales at home, but I will bring them up here shortly so that I can obsess properly.

Now I'm at University there is nobody to make me eat, and the fact that I have to do my own washing up and we don't have a dish washer is another helpful incentive. Plus I have my own little en suite bathroom here so I can throw up whenever I want, so really, this should be comparatively easy.

The only person I have to battle with this time is myself.

I can and will do this. Staring down at my bulging stomach and my huge scarred thighs is in no way attractive. And now I've posted this I will not back out.

It begins now...