I want to walk in the snow and not leave a footprint.

First thing's first, last night was horrible.

I didn't drink like I said but I just felt really socially awkward and paranoid and shy at the pre-party as there were so many people, and then in the club we were with all the boys from my friend's flat and they make me nervous because they're so cool (how old am I?!?)

Anyway, the club was freezing although nobody else seemed to think so and I was too cold to dance so I just sat on my own for half an hour and watched the others enjoying themselves, I was going to stay until 12 just to show willing but by 1130 I reasoned that as I wasn't socialising with anybody anyway I might as well go home.

In the que for the cloakroom to get my coat before I left there was some moody drunken chav girl falling about changing her shoes and shoving stuff into her bag behind me, she kept barging into me and I just wished I could shrink and shrink and shrink so that I wouldn't be in her way anymore.

Anyway, today I woke up and it was snowing!

I hate snow and it wasn't settling at first, it looked damp and cold and sludgy outside and I had to walk to Freobl and back and go to the shop and I just didn't want to go outside.

It reminded me of being in the pub where my boyfriend works (before he was my boyfriend and when he was just that cute barman who I thought was too old for me) with my best friend last year on the last day of term, drinking wine and sheltering from the snow outside.

Despite my loathing for all things snowy by the time I left for my walk it was just getting dark and it was starting to settle, and it looked so beautiful against the darkening sky I couldn't help but get caught up in it.

It made me think of a time when I must have been about 8 or 9 when me and my mum used to spend every weekend on my Step-Dad's livery stables in Windsor (we ended up moving there for about 2 years until he died). I was on the computer emailing my uncle who lives in LA and I saw mad blizzardy snow outside the dining room window, I remember telling him that he was rubbish for living in LA because they didn't get snow there and wasn't he jealous? before wandering out into the driveway with my mum and step dad and being totally enchanted by the magic of it all, you could hardly see the gate for falling snowflakes. And the next morning the horses looked so beautiful in the snowy fields.

Oh dear I've got a bit sentimental haven't I? But it has made me feel ever so positive about everything.

I'll hate it again tomorrow, I promise, when I'm falling over on the way to the bus stop.

Oh and intake for today:

(limit was 300)

2 rice cakes w/low fat cream cheese 82cals

Ready salted French fries 83cals

KOKA noodles 143cals

308cals

which is good I suppose.

Despite all this positivity I'm still edgy about weighing myself tomorrow morning.

I don't look any thinner I don't think.

that was awfully long, sorry about that, I was obviously feeling inspired or something.

Love you all xoxo

You'll never get to heaven in a baked beans tin cos a baked beans tin's got baked beans in.

Tired.

Went shopping today with my friend.

We had an argument in Marks and Spencers because she wanted to split one of those £10 meal deals.

I said it had too many calories.

She said it comes with a free bottle of wine.

I said I wasn't drinking tonight.

She said don't bother coming then.

I said I won't then.

Silence.

Then she said, I'm sorry, please come tonight.

I said OK but I don't HAVE to drink.

We're going out for this girls birthday.

I'm not drinking

1) because alcohol = calories

and

2) being hungry is so much harder to ignore with a hangover

I wish I had some pills.

Some chavs threw bits of receipt at us for the whole bus journey home.

It was like being in year 9 again.

Ate too much today, my limit was 200 but I've had:

2 rice cakes w/low fat cream cheese 82cals

Small tin of baked beans 159cals

241cals

I wore some jeans today that I bought before I started this.

They were tight when I bought them, but I thought, well I'll loose weight and then they'll fit.

They were falling down today.

My stomach still looks just as enormous as it ever did tho.

Better get in the shower.

yous are the best 25 followers on the whole of blogger xxx

Where is my mind?

Hungover today.

Bleurgh.

I decided as I was going to sleep that I was going to do 500 sit ups today and walk down to the other campus and back twice (takes about 10 mins one way), so even though I felt like death this morning I'd got it into my head that if I didn't do it something bad would happen. I hate drunk me.

I did 250 sit ups when I got up at about 1.30, and finally got dressed at about 3 and left my room to start my walk (and stock up on diet coke). The second my door shut I realised I'd left my key card inside and I had to call security and wait 10 minutes for the guy to come and let me back in, and then after that I realised just as I left my campus that I'd left my purse inside. What's the matter with me?

Anyway I did my walk and so now I just have to do another 250 sit ups before bed, I feel so so so so sick though I don't know if I can manage it but I HAVE to do them or something bad will happen.

mjshdKJASFGUYCAVFGUJkaIJMJHCULo,ibjkc

400 cals today:

2 rice cakes with low fat cream cheese 82cals

Salt and vinegar squares 97cals

Tomato soup 171cals

350cals

IfeelsickIfeelsickIfeelsick.

Standing alone on the street with a cigarette

Buttoned shirts and whiskey.

Did well at my friend's flat last night.
There were two HUGE cheese pizzas when I got there which kept being shoved in my face but I didn't have any.
I did however have A LOT of vodka, a glass of sangrea and several shots of peach schnapps.
Oh and one tiny chocolate, but later on I turned down some werthers original and some BAILEYS CHOCOLATE! Which I wanted sooooo much, so all in all I think I did well.
I also smoked some weed for the first time in ages, which was actually really fun. I used to blaze all the time in year 11 but I started to get really paranoid every time I got high so I only smoke very occasionally if I'm drinking now.
To be honest everyone there was super weird and someone seriously needed to call the fashion police but it was an interesting evening.

Today was another 700 cal day and I have eaten:
3 rice cakes w/ low fat cream cheese 123cals
Salt and Vinegar french fries 84cals
Brown Pasta w/Salsa 368cals
Sugar free red bull 7.5cals

582.5cals

which is good, yesterday I almost definitely made up the 700 in booze and no doubt I will today too!
Going to carry on with the spoons menu and then go on to a club probably.

I had a nightmare last night that my wonderful painkillers that help me to survive hangovers (I heart codeine) had 200cals in each. What sort of a dream is that? Srsly. I'm obsessed.

hope you all have lovely Saturday nights xoxo

He talks in maths

Made me think of my flatmates earlier.

Went into the kitchen to stick my M&S vegetable moussaka in the oven and they were in there talking about their work-out at the gym.

It was like some mad code,

'how is your bench looking?'

'oh not very high, about 35.'

'I had a 150kg record once, unofficially'

'I've only ever benched sets, never done a whole run.'

WHAT ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT?

I don't know why anybody would go to the gym ever in a million years anyway, even though I have done. I'm happy with hulas and sit-ups in the safety of my bedroom

Anyway, my new low fat cream cheese has even less calories than before so cals for today=

3 rice cakes w/ M&S low fat cream cheese 123cals

Ready salted french fries 83cals

Sugar free red bull 7.5cals

vegetable moussaka 280cals

493.5cals

which is a bit of a pathetic attempt at 700 which is what I was meant to eat today really isn't it?

Oh well, whatever, not gonna eat anymore today now, gonna get in the shower than walk down the road to my friend's flat to get pissed.

Can't really be arsed but then again if I spend anymore time in this bloody room I'm going to go mad.

I'm avoiding looking at my uni email account atm because I know I'll have loads of emails telling me off for missing lectures/not handing in work/telling me work is due and my motto for most things in life is, 'ignore it and it'll go away'.

And anyway, it won't matter when I'm thin.

lovely.

Happy days.

love you all xoxo

ps. why am I so TIRED all the time?

Quick but not quite painless it sits perched on your arm.

So I did go out for pizza last night, and my boyfriend came too in the end cos he didn't have work.

Garlic dough balls, a huge margherita pizza and then tiramisu, plus two glasses of wine.

What is wrong with me?

Damn pizza express.

I threw it up when I got in, well most of it anyway, as my flatmate interrupted by knocking on my door to check if I was OK after everything with my mum.

My flatmate asked me about my eating too and wanted to check I'd never get anorexic or bulimic.

As if I'd have the will power to.

Also, she brought up cutting, it's obvious I have scars on my arms and I know some of the huge ones on my leg have made a guest appearance when I've sat down in a short dress but I didn't really realise anyone had noticed. Anyway it turns out she used to cut too for like 4 years and ended up in some institute because she tried to kill herself. That is the last thing I expected to hear from her! But anyway she said I can talk to her about stuff if I need to, which is really sweet of her. It was also good because it meant I could ask for help on how the fuck I'm going to wash my bloodstained white skirt.

Anyway, today is a fast day for me, so I'm sat in my room with 4 litres of coke zero for company, good times...

Happy Thanksgiving to all you american types, whatever that means.

Lots of food I gather,

good luck with that.

xoxo

48.4kg

Part of me thinks that the scales just hate me and that my weight can't possibly be related to how much I am eating

But the better part of me knows I have NOT been trying hard enough at all this week.

Last night I had pasta for dinner and afterwards I ended up eating half a tub of cottage cheese and a mini aero.

I wanted to purge but my mum's room is right next to the toilet so in the end I settled with doing 300 painful sit-ups.

But I'm still fat.

My mum wants to take me for pizza and drive me back tonight and I can't really refuse.

I'll throw it up after she's gone, and then tomorrow is a fast day.

I HAVE to be under 48 next Wednesday or I'm going to lose the plot.

Also my mum is going to want to pick up my dirty washing but there's a skirt covered in blood stains from me getting in pissed and slicing myself to pieces the other night, going to have to hide it while she's in the toilet or something and learn how to use a washing machine to wash it myself.

Sitting here with turquoise dye on my head in front of the heater watching the apprentice.

I WILL BE THIN.

2.5kg to lose before Christmas.

I can do this.

WPC when am I free to go?

Dramadrama, not sure how I'm going to summarise this briefly...

OK my mummy was dating a married man, she didn't want to be involved with somebody married but he was very insistent and she did like him lots, she tried to leave him many times but he'd always insist he was going to leave his wife and eventually he told his wife he was leaving on Sunday night.

I got a phonecall from my mum at about 9am on Monday morning saying, 'I'm bleeding and I've been arrested.'

Basically the guy she was seeing had done a U turn in the middle of the night and had gone from texting my mum saying he loved her and everything would be OK to ignoring her completely, and so my mum had gone to his house where his son had beaten her up, the man who had 'loved' her had kicked her, and then my mum had proceeded to smash in all the windows of his house.

The police were sympathetic and let her off with a fine and she went to see a friend who lived nearby and I agreed to come home and take her out last night.

This whole thing, naturally made me feel very cross and rather sick and so I didn't really feel like eating, I had 2 rice cakes in the morning and then went into town with my friend where I bought my mum a little present to cheer her up and then went to the pub and started drinking whisky. After that I got the tube home and met my mum and my boyfriend at one of the nice pubs on the hill (my mum and my boyfriend get on really well) and we decided to get food, my mum was feeling all weak and saying she couldn't face eating much and ordered a vegetable soup which she barely touched and my boyfriend ordered this enormous slice of pie with mashed potato, I tried to be good and ordered a mushroom tart from the starters menu with salad, it was quite small but so delicious I ate it all and a slice of my mum's bread. I wished I could have eaten as little as her.

Today has been a bit crap food wise too, there's nothing healthy here really so I've had 2 ryvitas with peanut butter and I'll probably make some pasta or something later on.

I think my mum will be OK, she's seeing friends everyday this week and so she's off drinking wine somewhere at the moment, but I REALLY WANT TO KILL THAT GUY.

Also I feel so nervous of everyone who isn't my boyfriend. Silly.

I think my friend is annoyed because I told her how to spell parfe.

And I really don't want to go back to my flat at uni.

Ever.

And I HAVE NO CONTROL.

I'm going to be fat forever.

xox

She's lost control again.

So exhausted.

The title says it all really. I had an accident with some pringles and a parsnip at my friend's nan's last night. I was so confident about it as well. Never be confident about anything.

Decided not to eat today to make up for it. It didn't really even feel like I needed to eat. I'm not really even hungry, just run down, and I have a headache that sort of isn't really a headache but just feels like my brain has shrivelled up. I never really had one though so I don't suppose it matters.

Did have a skinny latte at Costa with the boyf.

That's plenty of calories for one day I'm sure.

I'm so weak. I'm so much better off cooped up in my room here where food can't find me.

As a result of this 2468 has fallen off the planet a bit. Am going to follow this plan up until Christmas:

Monday - 200cals

Tuesday - 300cals

Wednesday - 500cals

Thursday - fast

Friday - 700cals

Saturday - 700cals

Sunday - 400cals

it's adapted to my life a bit better so ought to be doable.

Doable can't really be a word.

Still not weighing myself til Wednesday morning. Mostly because I know if I weighed myself now I'd have gained weight and then I'd burst into tears. Wednesday's seem like a good weigh in day tho. Going to try and just weigh myself on Wednesdays from now on.

Got to lose lose lose because I know I'm going to do terribly as soon as I get home for the holidays. I'm so awful for picking at stuff I can't stand it. I must get better. I must get thinner...

I must go to bed.

xox

I miss your ginger hair and the way you like to dress

Thinspo post.

Think I'll probs do one every Sunday from now on...

I've hoped for change, and it gets better everyday

Last night was a bit of a write off. We went to the SU club night in the end, which is reminiscent of school discos tbh, it was nice because it meant hairy bum wouldn't be there so my friend couldn't ditch me but she got SO DRUNK playing centurian before we even went out that she couldn't put her tights on, peed with the door open in front of everybody and decided to lick her computer. Yeah...

I only had 3 vodkas and some of this girl we were with's lambrini because she needed to finish it but I got really neurotic about the alcohol calories and made myself sick in the SU toilets, but only a little bit. In the end I decided to do 200 sit ups when I got in before bed. I did 300 in total yesterday. Anyway, it was vaguely amusing but I'd only had 3 hours sleep so in the end I sat on the floor at the edge of the dancefloor staring at all the girls skinnier than me (pretty much all of them) enjoying themselves until we went home.

I'm feeling much cheerier today though because I'm going to my friend's nan's tonight for a girly sleepover and a few drinks and because I'll be in the area it means I can see the boyfriend for a few hours tomorrow as well. Today is 400 and I know what I'm eating and I'm pretty confident I can stick to that, and my friends at home are more used to my crazy eating and won't be too bothered if I don't eat there.

Also thanks everyone for your lovely comments, it's so nice that people can be bothered to read my moany posts and try cheer me up, love you guys (:

xoxo

Under this weather such shadows are blossoming.

48kg. I could fucking scream.

In my History lecture this morning we were all asked to write a two sentence history of the last ten minutes. I wrote: 'I am in a lecture and everyone is giggly and has friends except for me. I want to cry because I am not yet invisible.'

200cals today. I found some weird foreign rice cakes in the corner shop that are only 16calories so:

Rice cake with low fat cream cheese 49cals

KOKA noodles 143cals

192cals.

Have decided to give 2468 one more chance and if it hasn't performed miracles by Wednesday morning then I'm going to write my own plan for up to Christmas. Am going to try not to weigh myself until then but I doubt I'll manage that.

Supposed to be going out tonight. I can't even be bothered. What's the point?

I'm just going to pile on pointless alcohol calories and then my friend will see hairy bum (the new guy she's shagging every five seconds) and ditch me.

And I'll cry.

Again.

On a positive, I think I have maybe, kind of, almost, managed to be brief for once!

And the kick is so divine when she sees bones beneath her skin

My collarbones are starting to say hello again quite nicely.

My hipbones however, are still very much in hiding.

I was lying in bed with my boyfriend last night, admiring his gorgeous bones when he got up to go to the toilet and came back saying, 'I just weighed myself for the first time in ages, I'm 51.3, what does that mean?'

I could have killed myself.

Honestly, that's what I weighed about 2 months ago.

I must look so enormous next to him, he's only 5"6 so I worked out that his BMI is 18.2

Mine is 19.1.

It's motivating though I suppose, there was probably a point where I weighed more than him. Ergh.

Anyway, didn't weigh myself this morning cos he was here, we went to the pub with my friend from upstairs last night and didn't go clubbing because in the end she didn't feel like it either. I only had one drink although me and my friend have decided we're going to drink our way through the entire wetherspoons menu this year. This is what being at University does for you.

Anyway today I've been fasting, me and my boyfriend went into Hammersmith to do some shopping before he went home and then we went to Starbucks, I said I wasn't gonna get anything but he was all, 'no I'll get you something.' So in the end I drank half a skinny caramel latte and he had this HUGE panini which I tried not to stare at too much.

But I'm not going to eat tonight so I suppose that's OK.

Will see how 2468 is going tomorrow anyway.

Actually spoke to some of my flatmates for a bit this afternoon so I'm feeling a bit cheerier about being here in general.

For now anyway.

However, we're all having a flat Christmas dinner on the 6th December and I'm going to be expected to eat it, which I'm really really worried about. Also my friend from home invited me to her Nan's on Saturday as she's bunny watching whilst she's away (this is a regular occurrence and seems quite normal to me) and said we were having Roast Dinner, I was just like, yeah I'll skip the roast dinner I'm on a diet and she seemed to accept that so that'll probably be OK as long as I don't pick at anything.

I think I want to be 46 by Christmas.

I'm looking forward to boxing day at my friend's house a ridiculous amount.

OK that's enough nonsense for one day. Sorry all my posts are so long.

lovelove x

You know that we're all going off to nowhere

800 calories is A LOT of calories.

Didn't manage to get up AGAIN because I'm lazy and useless.

Tidied my room (to a degree) and am going to clean the bathroom (to a degree) in a minute.

So far today I've eaten:

cereal bar 91cals

salt and vinegar french fries 84cals

mini cupcake 87cals

and I've bought a pizza to share with my boyfriend when he gets here, which is 530cals for half the pizza

so then my total for the day will be 792.

I spent ages in the shop figuring out which was the lowest calorie pizza and if I could manage to eat it and stay within 800.

One of the deep pan cheesy ones was nearly 2000calories just for half!!

Sooooo fucking disgusting, I really wish I didn't love pizza so much.

ANYWAY, it's good that my boyfriend is coming on an 800 day as I can eat the pizza all casually like it's normal and he'll think it is.

In reality tho I''m already full and could so easily not eat anything else today.

I feel disgusting as it is.

And oh! I was 47.8kg this morning, which is a nice little loss.

My scales are still a bit mental but they only varied between 47.8 and 47.5 this morning so either way I've definately lost since yesterday, but they stuck mostly with the higher end of that so I'm inclined to believe that.

Also, I'm wearing my grey jeans which were so horribly tight last month and they fit. Happy days.

I was in the kitchen this morning (I say this morning but I didn't get up until 3) and my flatmate was like 'oooh I like your pants' (she's norweigan and learnt English from American TV and visiting the US so I have to allow her ridiculous Americanisms) anyway I sort if accidentally said, 'thanks, they didn't fit me when I moved here!'

She said, 'well done, so have you come off your diet then?'

I didn't really know what to say so I didn't say anything and then she said,

'you are eating aren't you?'

so I was like, 'yeah of course' and she was like 'OK I just like to check as I'm the grandmother of the flat.'

Regardless of this it's not like she really cares, they're all looking for places for next year without me and even the 3 people I really used to get on with haven't noticed that I've become really introverted and hardly ever leave my room anymore.

It doesn't matter anyway as I'm going to live with my 2 friends from upstairs next year but it would have been nice if they'd asked me.

Actually I'm not even going to pass this year so I won't be needing anywhere to live.

I'm so unmotivated.

Anyway, the same 2 girls are going clubbing tonight and want me to come but my boyfriend hates clubbing so I'm not sure if I'm going to drag him out or have a night in with him yet.

I thought I wasn't going to write much today but that hasn't really happened has it?

lovelove xxx

The fog comes up from the sewers and glows in the dark

Dragged myself out of bed at 7.30 this morning and weighed myself. The scales couldn't really make their mind up on what I weigh tho, usually I weigh myself 3 times and at least 2 of those times will say the same thing, but today I weighed myself 5 times and it varied from 48.3 to 47.7 so in the end I decided to go with 48 as it's in the middle isn't it? Bloody cheapy scales.

Went into the kitchen, at first I thought the windows had steamed up but no, it was just the thickest fog I had ever seen.

Went to my lecture, boring boring, mostly just wrote a diary entry and ignored everything he said.

In the following seminar someone actually spoke to me as well which was a bit amazing!!

Came home, had a nap which was haunted by strange nightmares where my mum drove the car into a lake and my uni friend from upstairs phoned me in tears and told me her lecturer was being murdered in the middle of the lecture, cheerful stuff, y'kno.

Woke up and went upstairs to see her.

Her lecturer hadn't really been murdered, funnily enough, came back downstairs for dinner.

Today was 600cals so I have eaten:

2 rice cakes w/low fat cream cheese 124cals

Salt and vinegar french fries 84cals

Blueberry oaty biscuit 101cals

3 Quorn sausages 171cals

Tin of spaghetti hoops 114cals

594cals

which is fine and dandy and just right but it feels fucking loads tbh.

I usually like to stay under 500.

But 2468 is supposed to work so I suppose I'll just have to let my scales tell the story tomorrow morning won't I?

Numbers numbers numbers.

I am not a number, I am a free girl.

Or am I?

anyway, tomorrow is 800cals.

I don't even know if I can do that, but I'm going to finish this cycle of 2468 (with a fast day on Thursday) and see how much I've lost to decide if I'm going to carry it on. It just doesn't feel like I can possibly have lost tomorrow if I've eaten this much.

Gonna go back up to my friends flat for a few hours after this, don't think I can cope with sitting in this room for much longer, even though her rooms like exactly the same but backwards,at least she's in it. (that was a bit soppy wasn't it?)

oh and thanks everyone for all the lovely comments yday (:

Have 2 thinspos because I'm generous like that...

stay skinny xoxo

Ever tried to live without the photographs in mind?

So today didn't as such go to plan, but not necessarily in a bad way.
I didn't manage to get up for my lecture as my phone had died and my charger was still at home so I'd set my alarm on my ipod which never ends productively.
I woke up after a long night spent mostly awake starving and then having nightmares about eating loads and chasing a bus and thought, 'hmmmm it seems very light, I wonder what time it is?' and looked at my ipod which suddenly jerked into life and told me that it ought to have gone off an hour ago.
Thanks ipod.
I didn't eat anything at all after I posted yday and so was within 200cals but I was 48.4kg this morning!
WTF?!

Rather annoyed, so anyway, I was so pissed off with not having my charger or anything I had 2 rice cakes (124cals) for brekky at like 2pm (I went back to sleep after realising I had no chance of getting to my lecture) and then decided to go home and get everything I'd left there.

When I got in my mum's boyfriend was round, she said to me 'I thought you lived somewhere else' but they'd just opened a bottle of red wine so she gave me a glass and then 2 glasses and we had a chat about our drunken Saturday exploits, and then I text my boyfriend to let him know my phone was working properly and he insisted on seeing me as I was home so we ended up going to the pub where he works to pick up his wages and have a few drinks. I drank 2 vodka and diet cokes and then some random old man who is always in the pub and proper fancies my mum gave me money for a cab for like half my journey back up to uni so that was sweet.

And I decided on the way home I have had plenty of alcohol calories today now to more than justify not eating anything else.
So I'm not going to.
Today was meant to be 400 and I'm sure I've gone well over that with all the drink I've had, despite my long walk to the pub and then to the station from my house (in real life it's only about a 20min walk but that's lots for my lazy self)

So if I really can't sleep I might have like a weeny slice of cheese or something, but do I really need to?

I'm better than food tbh.

Tomorrow is 600cals anyway.

Scary.

Exciting but scary.

Dunno if I can really manage that much without feeling awful.

Hopefully I will have lost again tomorrow morning so I won't feel so bad.

Where did that 0.3 of a kilo come from?

but really.

I know I stayed in all day yday but I would have at least expected to stay the same.

lovelove xxx

Hunger hurts but starving works.

oh em gee I have 18 followers.
That's loads for me so thankyou!

I woke up this morning with the worst ever hangover, I can't really remember last night except that I lost my cloakroom ticket and they would not give me back my coat even tho I said my initials and described it like a hundred times so in the end I just climbed over the counter, went and got my coat, climbed back over and left.
Think I might not be allowed back in now but nvm it's a horrible chavvy club anyway.
After that I decided to cry the whole way home for no conceivable reason and wail incoherently down the phone to my poor boyfriend.

Apparently we watched the band but I have no recollection of this.
I wonder if they were any good?

On a more positive note, I somehow managed to weigh 48.1kg this morning.
On a less positive note I'm starving.
I started 2468 today and I've eaten a packet of crisps and a tin of sweetcorn (183cals) and I want to die/eat my laptop/eat myself.
The temptation to ring Godfather's pizza and get a stuffed crust veggie deluxe is so overwhelming right now, but thankfully my phone is about to die and won't be resurrected until Wednesday when I get my charger back.
I just want to be hungover in bed and EAT EAT EAT.
But I can't lose control like that.
I said I was going to start 2468 today and I can't back out of that.
No more excuses.
I'm fat and if I want to not be I have to do this.

Cue googling food all night and not getting any sleep.

Ergh 10am lecture tomorrow.
I hatehatehate my course and I'm going to fail.
Why am I here?

I just want to be thin :(

Black dress, with the tights underneath