Moustaches

This weekend has been rather unsuccessful, foodwise.

I ended up throwing my soup down the toilet on Friday night but I ate two vegetable fingers upstairs at pre-drinks as my friend had cooked some especially for me.

I could rationalise that as I hadn't eaten my dinner but unfortunately it didn't stop there.

The night ended mostly in disaster and involved lots of disturbing men, both me and my friend whose birthday it was crying (this was largely my fault for which I feel rather guilty but am forgiven) and me walking all the way to KoKo club in Camden from Kings Cross station on my own at 1am in heels, which I suppose would have burnt off some calories at least.

I decided to fast on Saturday as I wasn't at all hungry and was feeling absurdly guilty about the vegetable fingers. I set off for High Wycombe at about 3 but public transport was so buggered up this weekend it ended up taking me ages and I started to feel worryingly faint. Eventually I allowed myself half a packet of crisps at Ealing Common so as not to collapse on the journey. I met the boys at Uxbridge and we got on a bus up to my friend's university and I got really over emotional about the fact that they were making such a minimal effort to speak to me. I got to my friend's flat and the boy's all went straight to the guy's house whose party it was and I had half a baked potato with cheese because I was still feeling a bit like I might keel over at any second. I didn't feel too guilty about this and decided it was necessary and we put on some fake moustaches which cheered me up and went to the party where we handed out more moustaches and the boys all drank from a huge container of 'punch' containing gin, whisky, vodka, WKD and orange juice with straws which ended in one of them being tied to a chair with cling film whilst cake was shoved into his mouth, the plan was to put him in the middle of the roundabout and leave him there I think but they couldn't lift him properly so he fell off the chair backwards and hit his head which he seemed to find quite funny before falling asleep in an armchair clutching a broom at which point the boys asked the girls to leave the room so they could put their balls on his face.

I will never understand boys.

After that we left him there and went to the pub but I don't really remember being there except I did have a nice chat with some guy who was in the army on a wall.

When me and my friend got back to hers I drunkenly decided it was a good idea to eat half a pizza, the calories of which I decided to carve into my hand with a bread knife because I couldn't find a pen (417 if you were wondering) and then this morning I had tea and toast for breakfast at about 4 in the afternoon!

I am supremely cross with myself about this and can't understand why I find it so hard to exercise control over my own actions. I don't think her flat is very good for my eating habits to be honest.

I haven't eaten anything else today and I'm not bloody going to.

I bought a packet of my all time favourite crisps that you can never find anywhere on the way back but I think I'm just going to stare at them longingly for now and let myself eat them as a reward if I ever get down to 49kg, which at this rate will never ever happen.

Gosh that was long sorry.

Thought you should all be aware of my failures.