Magpie, was it you who stole the wedding ring?

Aloha,

Soooo, yesterday my boyfriend came over after I posted, and we ended up sitting in the kitchen chatting to some of my flatmates for ages and they were all munching on crackers and peanut butter and crumpets and cheese, so eventually I caved and had some cucumber and houmus, which brought my total for yesterday up to 518cals. Which I can just about live with I think.

This morning on the way to my lectures at 8.30am (while my boyfriend was still tucked up in my bed fast asleep, grrrr) I saw 2 magpies. Well actually I saw one, which I saluted (naturally) and then I saw another one further along the road which I again saluted (you can never be too careful with these things) when another one popped up next to it. So I'm not sure whether I saw one for sorrow and then two for joy, which would cancel each other out I suppose, or three for a girl?

Or perhaps I'm just being a superstitious maniac.

Anyway, in my lecture we had to watch a ridiculous film about some nuns on a mountain in India (I study film and history combined) followed by a boring seminar about lighting in which I said far too much and got paranoid that everyone hated me because no one speaks to me in that class and had to hide under my coat and then I came home and crawled back into bed for a few hours before Japanese in which I had no idea what was going on and made awkward conversation with a boy from my building.

Today I have eaten:

Sugar puffs and milk 210cals

Dairylea dunkers 111cals

2 veggie sausages 202cals

6 slices of leek 24cals

5 small boiled potatoes 108cals

so that totals at 655cals which doesn't sound bad but I just felt so revoltingly full after dinner that I had to go to my room and throw it all up again, but I still somehow don't feel I've done well enough.

Tomorrow I plan to do that whole 6 meals between 50 and 100cals thing I used to do and then I'm going out to the fetish themed night at one of the student clubs so I'll stick to vodka and diet cokes. I'm guzzling so much diet coke atm. I drank about 2 litres of it yesterday.

Not knowing what I weigh is bugging me hugely so I'll probably go into town on Thursday to get some scales and my halloween costume.

That's all I guess.

oh except thankyou to my new followers!

Makes me feel a bit less like I'm posting to thin air!

I might keep some of my posts brief one day...

xxxx

No sleep and witches.

So for some reason which I am not entirely sure of I decided to stay up all night catching up with the X factor and the Apprentice and doing those funny Japanese hula exercises I mentioned ages ago.

I made a half hearted attempt to go to sleep at 5 but failed miserably and crawled back out of bed at 7 to make my 9 O'clock lecture, only when I got there there was nobody there. I stood around being confused and half dead with tiredness for a while before I remembered that it actually starts at 10 O'clock, rather than 9. So then I traipsed off to the library figuring I could do some of the reading I was meant to have done for my seminar in that time. It was about witches in the 17th century and really rather interesting in an I'd rather be reading Jilly Cooper kind of way. But when I did get to my lecture it became apparent that that was in fact the reading for last weeks lecture & seminar (which I missed). Thankfully the real reading was only some simple figures which were put up on the projector anyway but I also discovered that in my absence last week we have been set a 1,500 word assessment which is due next Thursday. And I absolutely hate university because they never give you any help with anything and it does make me wonder what the hell I am actually paying for. A part from the privilege of not having to get a job and live in the real world for another 3 years.

So all in all a pretty crappy start to the day, after that I went to Premier to buy some milk and things and then went to bed for pretty much the rest of the day. Gosh that was ever so boring. Why did I think anyone would care about that?

Anyway, today I have eaten:

2 crumpets with butter and marmite 264cals

Tomato soup 171cals

so that's 435 cals

I've also had endless glasses of diet coke but they're practically calorie-less

I am aiming to leave it at that but if I get desperate I might have some cucumber or something as it is still early days.

My weight is still, irritatingly, a mystery for now.

I actually might buy some new scales for here if I have time on Thursday or at the weekend. (Thursday is my day off) Although I'm not sure where the nearest Argos is.

Ho Hum pigs bum.

Sorry that was achingly dull.

Byeee xoxox

Many years have passed...

Hello I'm alive.

I'm on a brand new shiny diet and this time I mean business.

Last time I lost heaps of weight but then I carelessly went and fell in love.

And my boyfriend genuinely seemed to think I was amazing the way I was, and I ended up believing him and being huge by the time I went to Zante, and although when the pictures came back I felt rather sick it has taken until now for me to come to terms with the fact that things are getting out of hand and that if I continue this way my boyfriend won't love me for very much longer. So I'm sat in my little room at university starkers listening to 4st 7lb and drinking absinthe and 'I wanna be so skinny that I rot from view'.

I have absolutely no idea what I weigh right now because I've left my scales at home, but I will bring them up here shortly so that I can obsess properly.

Now I'm at University there is nobody to make me eat, and the fact that I have to do my own washing up and we don't have a dish washer is another helpful incentive. Plus I have my own little en suite bathroom here so I can throw up whenever I want, so really, this should be comparatively easy.

The only person I have to battle with this time is myself.

I can and will do this. Staring down at my bulging stomach and my huge scarred thighs is in no way attractive. And now I've posted this I will not back out.

It begins now...

I'm zizzy

yesterday went well.

was 300cals && I had

-rice cake && low fat cream cheese = 67cals

-special K bar = 88cals

-KOKA instant noodles = 143cals

total - 298cals

today is meant to be 400cals but I've already had a wrap that was 415.

Also I'm going to a club tonight and I'm sure drunken hunger will happen.

Still, I'll do my best.

I weighed in at 46kg exactly this morning, and also I have made the discovery that I am too thin to give blood, which made me kinda happy.

my BMI atm is 18.4 if anybody wondered.

Which they didn't.

Right, time for a nap before I start getting ready. x

I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.

Caved and weighed myself, and I'm 46.5kg!!

No idea how I've managed that but I'm certainly not complaining.

I've already fucked up today by eating like half a bag of maltesers but I'm just gonna pretend it hasn't happened and keep going.

That weigh in has totally motivated me.

xx

ABC day 1

Kkkkkkk,

so today I ate...

2 rice cakes && superlight cream cheese- 134cals

Weight watchers caramel wafer thingy - 78cals

Tin of sweetcorn - 103cals

Veggy sausage roll - 198cals

TOTAL - 513

I had a few cans of Pepsi max today as well as water which are like 2 cals each and I spose in theory I totally failed my first day but I don'tfeel too appalling about it as I've probably been eating like 1500 a day recently, which is just disgusting, so even if I'm not perfect I feel stronger just being back on track and having proper restricitons set out.

500 again, tomorrow, I'm going to make a bit more of an effort to properly stick to it, but I have no college tomorrow, so that should be easy enough,

I'm not weighing myself until Thursday night

Byeeee xxx

long time no post

Basically, I've gone off the rails a bit since my last post.

My love life started going well and that's never helpful.

Anyway, I've been fluctuating between 47 and 48kgs (ew) and I can't go on like this or I'll end up not fitting into ANY of my jeans and looking a total lardy mess again in absolutely no time.

So, I'm starting ABC tomorrow if it kills me which it probably will, and on Sunday I'm getting my tongue peirced even tho I can barely afford it just so that I won't be able to eat properly for a few days.

Will keep yew updated on my ABC

x