If you look in the mirror and don't like what you see, you can find out first hand what it's like to be me.

I'm so hungry it's ridiculous.

Sticking to 300ish calories was somehow SO much easier yesterday.

I've had:

yoghurt 52cals

clementine 24cals

Dairylea dunkers 120cals

Golden vegetable Cup a soup 84cals

which makes 280cals.

I'm absolutely not going to eat anything else today.

I HAVE to make up for the damage I did on Sat.

And I have to be under 51kg tomorrow morning. AT LEAST.

I'm googling pictures of food again.

Staring at a big slice of garlic bread.

I'm so normal.

I have this 500 word proposal due at 2 tomorrow.

I've written the sort of bare frame of it and I just need to flesh it out but it's so difficult to concentrate when all I can think about is food.

Plus my friend is pestering me to go out and guilt tripping me because we left her on her own in the club last night.

(we called her 4 times, looked around for an hour and asked the DJ to make an announcement before we left without her, it's not my fault she went off with some random girl and I didn't get any of her 10 texts until I got in)

And now she's being all pissed off with me cos I'm not coming out but I have to get this work done.

And I'll just have to keep looking at thinspo and thinking about how fat I am to stop me from eating.

Ergh I'm really stressed out.

And I feel like none of this is worth it because I'm sure I haven't lost any weight at all.

byeeee xxx

Pumpkins scream in the dead of night

Happy Halloween.

Am just getting ready to go clubbing in an inflatable pumpkin costume.

As you do.

Today I have eaten:

chewee cereal bar 91cals

1/2 revolting bean salad thing 75cals

weight watchers mini cupcake 87cals

Ready salted French fries 83cals

so that's 336cals today which perhaps mildly redeems me for yesterday.

Gonna try stay around the 300 mark again tomorrow.

Still haven't done any work, not sure what I'm gonna do about that.

Bloody uni. They just expect you to know how to do these impossible assignments.

Aaaaaaahhh!

Oh well, gonna get drunk, bet I don't go in tomorrow morning.

Whatevs.

Unconditional, unoriginal, always by my side.

So today my boyfriend took me out for our 6 month anniversary.

I had two rice cakes for brekky when I woke up and then he took me to London Dungeons which was a good laugh as I haven't been since I was about nine years old and then we went for dinner in Covent Garden and sat on the piazza smoking and drinking wine which was sooooooo lovely.

I had a slice of some cheese tart thing and like half a pizza.

Seeing him really cheered me up altho I do feel rather lardy after eating the cheesiest pizza known to man.

I'm going to stick to 300cals for the next two days in order to repent.

And not weigh myself until Tuesday morning.

He couldn't stay over because he has work tomorrow and I have two essays due next week that I haven't even started, so when I got in I finished reading my book and absolutely cried BUCKETS over it. I always cry at books which is silly of me.

I'm so pathetic.

Anyway, I'm off to bed to get some sleepysleep.

I hope I've not put on too much weight after my gastronomic dinner.

love to you all xxx

fuck everrything

Dropped my phone down the toilet.

It doesn't work now surprise surprise.

I feel so out of touch without it.

I'm such a cunt.

Got in and ate.

Only cucumber and houmus but still.

My boyfriend is probs gonna take me out for a meal tomorrow (that's if I can ever find him without my phone) so I can't really afford that kind of slip up.

I'm such a whale anyway.

I hate myself.

I will never be thin.

I feel awful.

London, did you have to take my child away?

Hello,

So I've bought some scales.

And I weigh 51.3kg

hmmmph. >:(

Today I have eaten:

2 clementines 48cals

packet of salt and vinegar french fries 84cals

and I have some cheese and leek bake thingy in the oven which is 362cals

So in total that's 494 cals for the day.

I'm going to some club in London with my friend tonight but I'm going to try not to get too hammered as I'm going out on some romantic day out with my boyfriend tomorrow and I have to meet him at Baker Street at 3.

I hate being so fat.

xxx

I'm spinning.

Oh dear.

Not much food + lots of vodka = kjfksfhAHAHAHA oh my boobs fallen out.

etc.

Eventually I passed out on my friend's bed in her flat and then she fell asleep on top of me and the boys came in and decided to cover us in cocoa butter.

It all went in my hair and I got really pissed off and came downstairs and sliced myself to pieces over it.

Which in hindsight was highly fucking stupid because actually it was quite funny.

And now they're all going to think I'm a humourless uptight bitch and hate me.

And altho I'm very much in love with my boyfriend I'm not gonna lie and say I don't quite fancy one of them.

Bollocks.

Anyway.

Today I have eaten a packet of cheese and onion french fries at 84 cals so far and my mummy is coming up for the eve so we're probably going to eat at whetherspoons where I will have Veggie sausages and mach and peas and gravy which is SO NICE and acording to the website has 553cals. So if I don't eat until then that's 637cals today which is not too bad.

And I'm not going to buy scales because I'm FAR too hungover, but I will deffo go after my lectures tomorrow.

ergh my head.

I hate myself.

goodbye xxx

Sympathy for the devil

Hihihi.

Me and 2 of my flatmates have just finished decorating the flat for Halloween, there's fake cobwebs and cardboard ghosts EVERYWHERE, plus I have a cute little cardboard devil on the door to my room.

There was so much cobweb left over we decided to stretch a load of it across the front of one of our flatmates doors so she couldn't get out and text her telling her to come to the kitchen. She screamed so loudly it was hilarious! EVERYONE SHOULD TRY THIS.

Today I have eaten:

Yoghurt 52cals

Cucumber and houmus 83cals

3 bean chilli w/rice 362cals

so that's 497cals which is fine as a pine on the line.

And it's 7.14pm now so I shouldn't really eat anymore until tomorrow.

Went to Asda today with my friend from a few floors above me and bought loads of low cal nibbly things and ready meals and stuff, which makes calorie counting heaps easier. Altho carrying all the bags back home on the bus was a NIGHTMARE! My friend fell over! Anyway, I'm off to start having a shower and getting ready for fetish night. I'm wearing a La Senza corset, a pencil skirt and pointed toe stilettos, I wish I could borrow my mum's steel plated corset tho, I wore it at my 18th Birthday party and it made my waist look amazing, not being able to borrow my mum's clothes is one of the many downsides of not living at home, like having to carry my own shopping and do my own washing.

Anyway, speaking of corsets:

obvz her waist is being very much held in but look at her legs!!!

Ooooh and a big thankyou to follower number 6 (:

I'm off to go get drunk.

Bye bye xxx