HELLO.
Yesterday we received a package of treats from family friends who make and sell chocolate.
Inside was a bag of orange creams for me as they know they are my favourite. I had 3 before we went out for dinner. At dinner I didn't have a starter or a dessert and just had a goats cheese salad like I said, but I did have 3 slices of bread from the bread basket. Because of the bread and the chocolates I felt huge and ended up throwing most of my dinner in the restaurant toilets and the rest when I got in, and then doing 200 crunches whilst watching super old episodes of Malcolm in the Middle on Sky 1.
Today I had 2 rice cakes before going shopping with my mum, we got coffee while we were out so I had a skinny creme brulee latte and then I had some veggies and pasta when I got in, but I also had two more of the chocolates and so I have somehow ended up throwing up my dinner into a plastic bag.
If I'm not 46kg by Thursday I'm going to go out into the street and punch some children.
I'm off to the pub with my friends who I'm convinced don't like me anymore.
I wish so much that my boyfriend was here.
I just feel as though no matter what I do I'm never going to lose any more weight.
Why on earth is it so hard to starve yourself to death?
6 comments:
boo for food being in your face so much. &boo for all the purging, helpful as it is. i hope, for the your sake&for the children on the street, that you reach your thursday goal. i know, why could we just be designed to slowly kill ourselves to look pretty? so many boos. hang in there, darling.
xoxo
zette
Very bad day, eh? Keep your chin up and I hope you reach your goal weight for Thursday. <3
Sorry for the bad day :/
Not gonna lie... I may have to join you with punching children if I don't meet my goal.
So let's make sure that we meet them.
Good luck!
You got thisssss.
Just started following you today. I love your blog and your style of writing. Hope things look up.
Oh boy, don't punch any children... they're too innocent and pure; punch some teenagers instead. they're never up to any good anyways. ;)
xo
it's hard because we are programed to eat. that what living creatures do : consume, release and reproduce. what all of us are doing is fighting our instincts.
just hang on, you know you're strong.
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