Being home is sososo dangerous for me cos I have no fucking control of myself whatsoever at all.
I got in and had dinner and then 2 peices of fudge, a spoonful of peanut butter (oh how I love you peanut butter), a mini aero and a fucking packet of crisps.
I purged some of it but it was hard to be thorough because my boyfriend was here.
We went out and I drank wine all night.
FML.
I just felt awful and awful with awful sauce.
Oh the evils of sauce.
I needed to cut or purge properly, or I don't know.
Do SOMETHING.
But I couldn't and I ended up just staring at my vast stomach in the mirror to the point that my boyfriend said that he was genuinely worried I was getting anorexic or something if I really thought I looked fat.
I laughed.
As if.
I have absolutely no will power whatsoever at all.
I'm just a will-less whale girl and I always will be.
Today I've eaten 2 ryvitas with peanut butter, a pitta bread and a glass of orange juice.
I am supposed to be fasting.
I need to get out of this house and get back to uni before I eat dinner.
It's SO snowy out tho I really don't want to go outside.
I need to do something to make up for this, so I am thinking of cutting down everyday's calories by 200 up until Wednesday?
It will be hard but I deserve it.
I can't just sit here and binge and binge and do nothing about this.
I'm so sure I will have gained this week now.
FML.
3 comments:
at least you have a bf who cares though, stay strong good luck
Stay strong hun, ok, and what you ate isn't at all bad at least it wasn't a binge. Be ok, ok? :) <3 xx
just try to gain control, one step at a time. you know what you want. and always remember it. look at the people around you... do you want to be fat, normal, or gorgeously skinny? rhetorical question.
stay lovely. <3
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