I am trusting my instincts on what I should eat in order to get back on track rather than following a strict set of calorie limits and I am trusting that what's in the mirror is repulsively enormous.
Doesn't mean I'm not still counting tho.
Today I've had a low cal vegetable curry at 340cals (although I actually didn't finish the rice) and a sugar free red bull which makes 347.5cals.
I actually feel pretty full and bloated right now as I've just eaten but if I purge I'll be hungrier later and then I'll eat more and nobody wants that.
I'm going clubbing tonight with my friend and loads of her friends that I don't know.
I'm not going to enjoy it and I know I'm not.
My limit is 4 drinks, I would say 4 vodkas but we're going to wetherspoons first and we're still drinking our way through the menu.
I've decided to give myself a casual week off weighing myself and just do it on Wednesday. Maybe there is still some hope of being 46 by Christmas?
I doubt it tho.
I've written a last week of term emergency sort your life out plan for myself, and on the first day of next term I am going to start ABC as I know I won't stay on track if I start it when I'm at home. I'm looking at the new term as a fresh start, work-wise as well.
I am however going to fucking behave myself as much as possible over the holidays, I plan to fast on the 23rd and then have 3 'days off' although really this means I am going to try and just eat when I'm hungry and not in excess of that on Christmas Eve, try to restrict for most of Christmas day but allow myself Christmas dinner and then the same thing again the next day at my friend's house and then fast again on the 27th.
I think actually just straight up fasting when I'm at home mostly might work better than just eating small amounts? Because once I'm in the kitchen that's the end of it. I'm going to have to learn some control before the holidays. Why is it so hard?
Anyway, that's enough ranting, time for a shower.
I own both those pairs of tights,
wish I looked that skinny in them.
xxx
3 comments:
i bet you look foxy in those tights! those are hot for sure!thanks for all your support, much love
come on, you can be 46 by Christmas, don't say you can't; you know you can do it if you really want, just give it a try :) holidays are really bad season for staying on track, but think of Christmas as a reward for all the good work and all the weight you've lost rather than a punishment... we'll get back to business afterwards!
Stay strong, love.
Lu.
i totally relate with trusting yourself on what you should eat. i'm sure the body knows it well. and it's definitely the problem of staying at home... close to kitchen ... gwaaad that's what always happens to me on week ends. if you have plenty of food 10 meters away it's so hard not to touch it. i wonder if this urge will ever go away. even when i'll be skinny...
and there's plenty of time till christmas, you can loose that kilo!
just make sure not to gain it back by the new year ;p
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